Amen University
You may already know that your brain is involved in everything you do. But do you realize how brain function can determine how well you connect within your relationships? Think about it. When your brain is functioning at its best, you’re more likely to communicate effectively, show empathy, and strengthen bonds. But when it’s not, misunderstandings, conflicts, and even emotional distance can take over quickly.
There is good news if you’re struggling to figure out what is or isn’t working for your brain and your relationship. A little brain health education can help you understand what might be be causing your relationship problems and give you specific steps to optimize your brain and your love life.
With the right tools, like those found in Amen University’s Change Your Brain Masters Course, you can change your brain, change your life, and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Here’s a breakdown of brain-based relationship problems and tips for a healthy relationship.
Understanding Brain Health Patterns in Relationships
Every brain system plays a unique role in mental health and can deeply influence relationships. Learning about these systems through brain health education provides insights into why we act the way we do—and what we can do to improve.
Prefrontal Cortex: ADHD and Relationships
The prefrontal cortex is often referred to as the “CEO” of the brain. It governs focus, decision-making, and impulse control. When this area is underactive, which studies have shown is common in ADHD, relationships can be impacted by forgetfulness, lack of follow-through, or difficulty listening attentively.
For example, a partner with ADHD might struggle to complete tasks, leading to frustrations in once-agreed and shared responsibilities. Understanding brain health and how it impacts your ADHD can help you and your partnership address these challenges through practical strategies like creating routines, using gentle reminders, or talking with your physician to get the right medications to improve ADHD.
Anterior Cingulate Gyrus: Rigid Thinking, Worry, and Obsessiveness
The anterior cingulate gyrus (ACG) cortex is involved in cognitive flexibility and the ability to move from one thought to the next. Too much activity in this brain region is associated with chronic worrying and getting stuck on negative thoughts.
Research shows that an overactive ACG can be a contributing factor to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), leading to rigidity or an inability to let go of minor disagreements. This rigidity can create tension in relationships, as one partner may feel unheard or dismissed.
Fortunately, there are things that have been shown to help those struggling with OCD like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) for more severe diagnoses, and selective medication-assisted therapies. Brain health resources suggest also practicing mindfulness techniques and lifestyle modifications to create more adaptability and understanding.
Limbic System: Depression and Emotional Distance
The limbic system is the brain’s emotional center, which plays a vital role in mood regulation. An overactive limbic system is often linked to depression, which can lead to feelings of hopelessness, withdrawal, or emotional numbness.
Depression may be making it hard for you to connect with your partner and lead to misunderstandings or feelings of neglect. This is where prioritizing food and mental health, such as incorporating brain-boosting nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, can support your limbic system health and emotional well-being.
Temporal Lobes: Anger Issues and Mood Swings
Your temporal lobes are crucial for optimal memory, emotional stability, and processing sensory input. Dysfunction in these areas can be associated with angry outbursts, aggressive behavior, or emotional ups and downs.
In relationships, unexpected mood fluctuations can create instability and confusion. And having an explosive temper can be a real relationship killer.
Engaging in brain health education can help you and your partner recognize these patterns and develop strategies to navigate mood changes and anger issues safely and more effectively. To support the temporal lobes, avoid sugary foods, listen to music, dance, and try other forms of rhythmic movement.
Basal Ganglia: Anxiety and Overthinking
The basal ganglia help regulate anxiety levels and smooth motor activity. Overactivity in these structures is associated with excessive worry, overthinking, and even physical tension.
In relationships, this might look like a constant fear of abandonment or needing frequent reassurance. This can put a strain on relationships and can lead to resentment in both partners. Techniques to calm the basal ganglia, such as deep breathing exercises and reducing screen time, are simple yet effective to start an anti-anxiety treatment plan.
Left and Right Hemispheres: Male and Female Brain Differences
The left and right hemispheres of the brain play distinct roles in processing information. Men often rely more on the left hemisphere, which is detail-oriented and succinct. Meanwhile, women tend to use both hemispheres, allowing for greater emotional processing and multitasking.
These differences can lead to communication gaps with partners, particularly those in heterosexual relationships. For example, men may want to focus on the specifics of a problem, while a woman may want to also discuss the emotional context.
Understanding these variations through brain health education fosters better communication and mutual respect when you’re both on the same page.
How To Change Your Brain To Fix Your Relationships
Improving brain health doesn’t just benefit you and your mental health—it can transform your relationships. Here are actionable steps to support both your brain and your connections with others:
Reduce Digital Device Use
Constant digital screen time can reduce the meaningful interactions you do have with a partner. Prioritizing quality face-to-face time with your partner and incorporating shared physical touch, such as holding hands or hugging, can strengthen your bond.
Consume Nutrient-Dense Foods
Food and mental health are deeply connected. You can optimize brain function and emotional regulation by incorporating brain-healthy foods rich in nutrients, antioxidants, and omega-3 fatty acids like:
- Salmon and other cold-water fish
- Nuts and seeds
- Colorful berries
- Dark chocolate
- Leafy greens
- Root vegetables
Prioritize Your Partner
Make time for shared activities that bring joy and connection. Whether it’s planning a fun date night, exploring new hobbies together, or enhancing intimacy with scents and aphrodisiac foods, prioritize your partnership.
Increase Cerebral Blood Flow
Healthy blood flow to the brain is essential for focus, communication, and emotional balance. Activities like deep breathing, yoga, and cardiovascular exercise improve oxygen-rich blood flow, enhance cognitive function, and help stabilize emotional health.
Schedule Movement Together
Exercise is a cornerstone to improving brain health. Whether it’s a solo workout or a couple’s activity, regular movement supports stress reduction and a stronger connection with your partner. Make it fun and schedule it often enough to feel connected to your own mind and body as well as theirs.
With the right brain health strategies, you can truly change your brain, change your life, and transform your relationships for the better.
If you want to go more in-depth to learn how your brain is impacting your relationships, register for Amen University’s Change Your Brain Masters Course.
